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A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.<br/><br/>Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.<br/><br/>David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.<br/><br/>He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. <br/><br/>David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn't interested in beginning an affair with the woman. <br/><br/>After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.<br/><br/>David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.<br/><br/>“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.<br/><br/>“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.<br/><br/>“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”<br/><br/>David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.<br/><br/>Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.<br/><br/>“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.”<br/><br/>David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.<br/><br/>He looked online at forums about “obsessive love” - and came across a post about limerence.<br/><br/>He said: “I thought, 'jeez, this is what I’ve got to a T.'<br/><br/>“Something’s not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.<br/><br/>“I kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.<br/><br/>“The moment I’d wake up, I’d rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.<br/><br/>“I’d experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didn’t.<br/><br/>“It was like an intermittent reward.”<br/><br/>Knowing the feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couples’ therapist.<br/><br/>She said: “David told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dad’s funeral.<br/><br/>“I was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: ‘Oh, for god’s sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?’<br/><br/>“My dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.<br/><br/>“We went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.”<br/><br/>After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she “finally had the brain capacity” to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.<br/><br/>He hadn’t acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldn’t “consummate” the crush.<br/><br/>“David reached out to me,” Ruth said. “He asked me, ‘please help me understand what’s going on.’<br/><br/>“He was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’<br/><br/>“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.<br/><br/>“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”<br/><br/>David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.<br/><br/>“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”<br/><br/>David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.<br/><br/>He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.<br/><br/>Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.<br/><br/>Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.<br/><br/>“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.<br/><br/>“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.<br/><br/>“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”

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Noha Library

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During her visit to the site where a massive tree fell along Jalan Sultan Ismail in the city centre on Tuesday, Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department (Federal Territories) Dr Zaliha Mustafa said Kuala Lumpur City Hall (DBKL) had been instructed to come up with new guidelines to manage the city's ageing trees and prevent future accidents.<br/><br/>She said the urgency of cataloguing older trees, many of which are between 50 and 80 years old, was more pressing now than ever due to unpredictable weather conditions.<br/><br/>Read more at https://shorturl.at/ehmq1<br/><br/>WATCH MORE: https://thestartv.com/c/news<br/>SUBSCRIBE: https://cutt.ly/TheStar<br/>LIKE: https://fb.com/TheStarOnline

KL tree mishap: DBKL instructed to set up new guidelines to manage ageing trees

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<p>A Rochester woman had to undergo surgery and has been left with a broken nose after an unprovoked attack </a>while on a night out. </p><p>The 42-year-old has lost her sense of smell and taste following the assault - a man who has a history of violence against women has faced court. </p><p>Also in today’s podcast, worried business owners in Medway have been left fearing for their future after seeing customer numbers plummet</a> following a hike in car parking fees.</p><p>They claim footfall has dropped by around a third since the authority decided to increase its pay and display costs for on and off-street parking by 60p earlier this year. </p><p>The parents of a “kind and compassionate” man who died following a severe asthma attack</a> are raising awareness of the condition.</p><p>Dad-of-two Gary Bush was putting his young children to bed when he suffered the attack – this World Asthma Day his parents are urging people with the condition to find support. </p><p>One of the last remaining businesses in a closure-hit shopping centre extension says turning the site into 200 homes</a> could be a good opportunity.</p><p>It comes as the owners of Ashford’s County Square admit the development is “failing” and could be put to better use. </p><p>And you can hear from wildlife bosses as a significantly important area of marshland in Kent has been officially handed over to the Kent Wildlife Trust.</a></p><p>The site near Faversham has been described as a “service station for birds” and is home to more than 250 species. </p>

Podcast: Woman knocked out and left with horrific injuries in random pub attack

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GLASGOW. Hampden Park.<br/><br/>Walking '500 miles' and '500 miles more' for men's mental health is an epic feat worthy of support – Scotsman comment<br/>Craig Ferguson is walking from Glasgow to Munich, in time for the Scotland-Germany game in Euro 2024, in aid of the men’s mental health charity, Brothers In Arms Scotland<br/><br/>There can be few people in Scotland who are unaware that the requisite walking distance to demonstrate the ultimate in commitment is 1,000 miles. Or, to put it another way, “500 miles” and then “500 more”.<br/><br/>The Proclaimers famously set the benchmark and 20-year-old Craig Ferguson is about to embark on a journey of that daunting length, walking from Glasgow to Munich. He aims to arrive in time for the opening game of Euro 2024, between Scotland and Germany.<br/><br/>Ferguson had wanted to raise £10,000 for men’s mental health charity Brothers in Arms, but has already beaten that target and hopes for £50,000 instead. \

Scotland fan sets out to walk to Munich

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